A debate in our local newspaper last year caught my attention. It involved a dispute between two churches. One of the churches had built a statue commemorating a particular saint on the outskirts of its property. The other church, located next door, objected to the presence of the statue. They felt it was too close to their property and that it distracted parishioners walking to chapel to devote themselves. They requested that the statue be moved. The other church refused to move the statue, stating as one of its reasons, that the money for the statue had come from a former reverend who, in his will, requested the acreage upon which the statue had been built. The debate escalated and soon other faiths stepped in, supporting one decision, denouncing the other. It became a circus which the media did not tire of although the rest of us did.

When I first read about this, I wondered why each side couldn’t give a little bit and bring the entire matter to a mutually agreeable conclusion. It was disturbing to see some of our community’s religious leaders exhibiting behavior that was in complete contrast to the ideals they professed to adhere to.

Or so it seemed at the time. Now I realize that each side’s refusal to budge in the matter was in accordance with their ideals. Each side was anticipating a particular result in the matter based upon an ideal. When that result was threatened, each became protective of their ideal and stood their ground.

Recognizing "negative" behavior as reflective of an ideal is a challenge. In this case, my failure to recognize latent ideals resided in what I found to be a literal interpretation of the term, which I saw as a "standard of perfection," or a form of behavior "taken as a model of imitation." Having no desire to imitate what I considered the childish behavior of bickering priests, I had overlooked the very ideals that had promoted the bickering.

This recognition caused me to examine some of the past negative behavior I had exerted which was in contrast to an ideal I had set. I realized that I had often used negativity as an excuse for changing my ideal to something less challenging, the implication being that there was something wrong with the ideal and not with my behavior. In other cases, I found negative behavior to be the result of defending my ideal.

Recognizing and utilizing "negatives" as potential "positives" is helpful in that it combats the ingrained tendency to think of things or situations in terms of "good" or "bad." It alleviates the stress normally associated with negative thoughts and feelings and provides a more neutral terrain upon which to work. Such often enables one to detach from self and look at things more objectively. To implement changes I felt were consistent with my ideals, I began by focusing on areas that I felt required further examination.

No one likes the intense, anxious feelings that negative thoughts provoke. So how are they best handled when they crop up?

Experts seem divided on a solution. Emmet Fox suggests that when a negative thought pops up, we immediately replace it with a positive, loving thought. He gave an analogy similar to this: If a bug lands on you, brush it off. Don’t sit there for an hour, staring at the bug, trying to figure out why it landed on you out of hundreds of other people. Negative idea? Fox asks. Brush it off.

Cayce said to utilize negative thoughts positively. In his quote "be angry but sin not!" he seems to be suggesting that we express the negative emotion but do so in a manner consistent with our ideal. This seems to be working on the theory that constructive application may prevent a later "blow up" that is completely out of proportion to the problem.

Another option is given by Jack Kornfield who suggests that we find the root of our anger, determine its origin and begin our work from there. In this suggestion we are processing negative emotions by working through them.

A workable solution for me is often a combination of each suggestion. Recently I was angry at my boyfriend. Throughout the following day at work,

my mind -- as though concerned that I wasn’t suffering enough -- constantly reminded me of my problem. ‘I can’t believe he said that,’ I would think, ‘ I

can’t believe he said such a thoughtless thing.’ My anger would

immediately surface, coupled with a rise in blood pressure. Using my

adrenaline as a trigger, I immediately stopped what I was doing and

paid attention to my emotions. I reminded myself that I was expressing anger based on an ideal which was subject to change. I reassured myself that my boyfriend and I would discuss the problem and, most likely, would make up. Expressing anger now was therefore unnecessary and a waste of my time. Having processed this, I would dismiss it, continuing to do so each time it returned.

While such sounds like a simplistic process, it took an incredibly long time to recognize and respond to negative thoughts immediately in lieu of allowing them to wash themselves in and out of my mind throughout the day. This type of mind-training is a discipline that I must consciously employ in order to effect change. Like a toddler being trained to stay away from a hot stove, I initially ran a mental obstacle course with myself, patiently saying "no" every time my mind returned to negative thoughts. Consistent application, however, yielded results. I now focus on other elements I feel contribute to a spiritual lifestyle.

While it often seems that knowledge is acquired by observing the results of an ideal put into practice, it would be difficult to formulate an ideal without first possessing the knowledge required to construct it. In the following example, I see knowledge as both a precursor and suceeder, leading to the formation of an ideal while allowing room for renovation during the construction process.

Mark started a new mechanical job and was initially clumsy. He dropped his tools and produced less than adequate work. What he took to be a lack of skill affected his attitude, causing him to hate his job and think of himself as poorly suited for the position. Given time, however, Mark perfected his skill, fine tuned his performance and began to produce products that his superior commended. Mark began to take pride in his work and mentally challenged himself to learn other skills of the trade so that he might advance to greater success.

This example, to me, is not unlike testing out the knowledge required to construct an ideal. In choosing an ideal we have a precursor of some sort, perhaps something new that we learn and wish to apply to our lives. We may test it out, clumsily at first as we’re not quite sure how to go about it. By observing the results of our application we may decide to hone our skill in a particular direction so that we can achieve better results next time.

Putting into practice elements consistent with one’s ideal requires projecting an attitude consistent with ones goal. If Mark hated his job, he probably would not succeed if he complained continuously about the ridiculous work he was doing, the low pay he was receiving and the benefits that he wasn’t getting. Because he wasn’t happy, he probably wouldn’t perform well. Here Mark has an ideal: enjoyable work, better pay and benefits. Since this would seem to imply a different job, then it would appear that Mark was projecting an attitude consistent with getting one, i.e., he’ll probably get fired and thus provide himself with the opportunity of locating a job more consistent with his ideal.

Since attitudes reflect one’s interpretation of things or people, they can fluctuate within a boundless range. Where one observer might view Mark’s poor attitude as natural due to his lousy job, another might see Mark’s attitude as the result of having an ideal that the job wasn’t fulfilling. Either way, each observer has the ability to choose how he will respond to, or interpret, Mark’s attitude.

Recognizing that one has an endless variety of attitudes to choose from seems mandatory to the transformation process. It alleviates feelings of hopelessness by offering freedom of choice and thereby control. Control seems to be a particularly effective coping mechanism, promoting feelings of self-assurance and reliability.

The ability to rely upon oneself seems to be nurtured in the process of meditation and appears to result from the elimination of feeling separate and apart form our creator. Meditation is thus a healing tool, taking byproducts such as fear from our material world and converting them into another form of energy. This energy can be directed to, and find an outlet in, our attitude. How we choose to put our attitude into action is up to us.

Cayce once said "Trust in that given thee, and in use (sic) of that given, understanding comes." While some action exists simply in the decision to change one’s attitude, putting the attitude into action forces reaction. Reaction is important. Although we are often capable of communicating on a telepathic level, it appears that we’re only successful when communicating to those capable of receiving our message, i.e., someone on our particular wavelength. Thus, changing our attitude and sending a new message to a receiver is only effective if they are set up to receive. But how often do we have attitude problems with someone on our own wavelength? Since like attracts like, it is often those who are off our wavelength that we have attitudes with to begin with. Thus, if we can’t send subliminal thoughts to correct an imbalance, it seems essential to make ourselves known through action.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine came up from Richmond to visit. Although not initially agitated, she became anxious when telling me of the events of her past week. It started with a physician finding a growth in her breast which he wished to biopsy. The biopsy was performed and Jill began the never ending wait for the telephone call which would provide her with the results. In the meantime, she tried to divert her attention by painting the living room of her condo. Jill was standing on a ladder when she slipped, fell and landed on her knee. She injured her patella and was in incredible pain. At the time this happened Hurricane Fran had grounded and was dousing the Richmond area with a torrential downpour. Knowing an ambulance to be unlikely, Jill decided to drive herself to the emergency room. She was sitting at a traffic light, waiting for the light to change. Next to her was a tractor trailer. Although in the left lane, the truck was preparing to make a right turn. Because of the weather Jill said she was lucky to see the truck period; she certainly did not see the turn signal. Thus, she had pulled up too far and the trucker could not see her in his rear view. When the light changed, the truck initiated the turn, the back tires rolling up and over the hood of Jill’s car , totaling the vehicle.. The trucker must have assumed he had just gone over a curb ( a rather high one) because he continued on, leaving Jill in a horizontal position, staring down at her steering wheel, trapped by her seat belt.

Jill managed to get out, her fear and pain commencing in one of those high pitched screams that only we women are capable of. Someone heard her and came to her aid.

As Jill was telling me this story, I must have had a rather incredulous look on my face because she ended up nodding, "I know, I know," she said. "It sounds like a Woody Allen movie."

By the end of the week Jill knew that her cyst was benign. Although surgery was deemed necessary for her knee, it was functional due to cortisone injections while the pain Jill experienced was effectively killed by narcotics. The

car was in the process of being totaled by the insurance company and in the interim Jill had been provided with a rental car. But prior to this, Jill admitted, "I just gave up. It was too much for me to handle." Faced with the prospect of cancer, being crippled , and car-less to boot, Jill collapsed. "Realizing you have no control over your life is completely terrifying," she said.

In this situation, saying something like : "Well, if you’d just had a better attitude and looked on the bright side, you wouldn’t have suffered so much," would be conducive to both losing a friendship and making me a candidate for the psych ward. We do feel overwhelmed at times, we do get depressed. How we respond to situations is not always instantly negotiable. I listened as Jill went on to explain that she now spends 20 minutes a day in meditation, visualizing a perfectly healthy and operational knee without surgery. The cancer scare was not included in this meditation; instead Julia focused on food. No more meat, fried foods, ever. Error with food, Jill believes, is what caused the cyst to form.. And in terms of driving, Jill now says a prayer after getting into her car. She also adds that she’s developed the uncanny ability to spot a tractor trailer truck 5 miles away.

Although Jill’s response to several situations at once was overwhelming, her willpower to get well and stay well eventually directed her to ways she felt would ensure this. Willpower is an incredibly potent force once activated.

I find willpower to originate from three sources: conscious, subconscious and higher or superconscious. Conscious willpower is best expressed, for me, as that subtle yet hesitant nudge I feel just prior to turning away from a candy bar. Since I believe that dousing my system with sugar is not good for me, I’m deliberately invoking my willingness to not douse myself with sugar. But often this isn’t effective. Fifteen minutes later I may return to see if the candy bar is still there. I’ve returned because I’ve decided that a candy bar sounds really good and ‘just one won’t hurt.’ Having made this decision, I’ve also invoked my willpower, or my own willingness to make the candy bar "one with my spirit."

I find subconscious willpower to result from the dream state. Having kept a dream diary for seven years, I’ve accustomed myself to the symbols my mind uses in translating messages. When something different appears, I’m instantly alert, trying to decipher the code. Often the code breaks when my subconscious manages to balance the message between my higher conscious and conscious self. This mediation appears necessary. Although my higher self may send messages to my subconscious dreaming self, often these messages cannot be activated because they overwhelm my conscious mind. Thus my subconscious acts to shuffle around all the possibilities of achieving the goal of my higher self while taking into consideration the limitations of my conscious state. When it finds something that will satisfy both portions, it emits the solution into my conscious mind.

Higher consciousness invokes a willpower that is not supplanted by either the subconscious or conscious mind. It results from a direct link with our inner knowing, a strong motivating force which activates change instantaneously. It is the intuitive knowledge that comes as a warning , telling us to turn left now or telling us that if we continue to smoke we will cause irreparable damage. While such knowledge may seem to suddenly "dawn on us," willpower can also be invoked. As our inherent birthright, will is something that God respects and will not tamper with. But the minute we make clear that it is our will which we wish Him to influence, God enables His message to filter through the mind and lead us in new, more insightful ways.

Living a spiritual lifestyle is living a life of change. Just when I am satisfied that I have implemented something in accord with an ideal that will result in a benefit to either myself or others, another ideal presents itself which promises to lead to an even greater benefit. My progression seems to be constant, my pace and learning dependent upon a host of variables. I have found meditation to be the most effective foundation for a spiritual lifestyle, keeping me in balance with my inner self and thus, my creator. Along with meditation I use visualization techniques to problem-solve and contemplate dreams when I know they contain latent messages. By paying attention to my emotions I can readjust "my attitude" and convert negatives into positives, which I reinforce through action. Through-out all of this, I have the reassurance of possessing willpower which, if I can’t activate effectively on my own when required, I can hand over to a higher authority if I’m just willing to release or surrender myself.