If we look at the growth process in our personality development, we may see ourselves with an objective, nonjudgmental view. We are encouraged to see our struggles and frustrations as developmental signposts directing us towards creativity and higher states of awareness. Thus the term "psychopathological" should be practically nonexistent except to identify extreme psychological symptoms of development.

This approach may be illustrated by the growth process shown in the dreams of Davina, a 23-year-old woman who came to therapy because of her vivid nightmares and frightening daytime fantasies. We will study the role dreams play in reflecting Davina’s inner world and how they introduce: (1) unresolved conflicts from the past that Davina is currently being forced to face: (2) other dimensions of Davina’s self that are in conflict with one another: and (3) aspects of herself that are seeking development in order to be assimilated appropriately into waking behavior and giving a broader perspective of life about her. We watch her come to terms with monsters in her dreams (the destructive aspects of her personality) and their corresponding conflicts in waking life, thus freeing her creative energy to be used in a much more personally rewarding and universally beneficial way.

To follow Davina’s legend of dreams and fantasies in and out of her unconscious is a fascinating journey into the psyche-it would stand alone as a phenomenal literary fantasy-but coupled with its symbolic representation of psychological equations, it is an indispensable text for the psychology student and invaluable resource for every individual interested in personal growth.

Growth in awareness is a unique process within each of us. Some aspects are patterns familiar to us all, while others create the very essence of our individuality. As a rule, we experience growth in recognizable cycles throughout our lifetimes.

The typical precondition initiating the growth process is a desire to break away from the established or standard ways of thinking, doing and feeling. To do so necessarily involves a struggle. One must let go of the familiar and be willing to find new ways of experiencing life.

This is what happens to adolescents as they make the transition into adulthood. Conditioned to value themselves by others’ expectations and standards of approval (parents, peers, teachers and other authority figures) they gradually lose touch with their own originality and creative ways of dealing with life because there is little outlet or demand for them. Their manner of dress, speech and behavior are predominantly determined by outside influences. If they continue to be outer directed as they enter the professional world, their behavior, etc., will be determined by their role in society. They will develop the traits and talents which are necessary for success in their roles to the exclusion of all other potential or unmanifested qualities.

Dreams reflecting this lack of individuality tend to be like the following: "I feel like a limp rag...": or "I’m living in a bowl of jello. It’s dark, warm and cozy. I feel content to stay there."

By adopting a role, we eventually believe we are the characteristics that make up that role. For example, we define ourselves by the roles we assume in life (mother, statistician, wife, etc.) and fail to see the other dimensions of ourselves. Labels limit our expression as do others’ expectations of us. We may have dreams something like this: "I have only one dress to wear," or "I am a flat person, cut out of paper, with my name written on me." Limiting our identity and expression makes us feel inadequate and inferior. The more we conceive of ourselves in simplistic, stereotyped patterns, the more difficult it becomes to respond creatively to the subtleties and complexities of life. Feelings of inadequacy create a vicious circle. "I am caught with mother by a policeman and we all go around and around in argument. I can’t make it stop."

There are two major developmental blocks in the growth process. The first is a lack of awareness of the new aspects developing within. Conditioned to ignore original thought patterns, the individual hardly recognizes a new self-dimension when it does emerge. Having learned to value what others value rather than what he values himself, one is often reluctant to place any value upon the newly emerging dimension precisely because it is original: "I thought of it, but unless someone important agrees with me, it must not be a good idea." This negative reaction to the new is the second major developmental block in personality development. Rather than implementing our growth with the new tools that are emerging, we inhibit it by condemning ourselves. It is not surprising, then, that we find ourselves in a state of depression.

The onset of depression is both good and bad news. It feels "bad" because of the deep sense of dejection and separation from meaningfulness. But the good news is that withdrawal from the outer world necessitates a focus of attention on the inner world, which is now demanding our undivided attention to make some critical adjustments.

But growing also has its price. Once we become aware of the makings of a new identity, we may find ourselves in a state of crisis. An old world view battles against a new one. We can no longer fit ourselves into our old self-definition because the conclusions we have drawn in the past are not true for us now. The conflict may manifest like this in a dream: "I can’t decide whether to lead with my right or my left"; or "I find I am arguing with everyone important to me." Rebelliousness becomes a featured emotion. Rebelliousness against the old pattern is natural as one tries to adapt to the challenge of the new. Rebellion is a constructive tool if it exposes the limitations of our former views about life and motivates us to seek new potentialities and put them into daily practice. The key is to become aware of the reasons for the rebellion.

Though we are initially self-conscious about the strange new identity surfacing from within and concerned about the resulting confusion and anxiety, the ultrasensitivity is leading up to a breakthrough out of the old stereotyped world into a new world of fresh and creative awareness.

Emotionally laden memories of long-forgotten experiences may flood our consciousness without any beckoning. And, like a dream which winds a motif with unconscious symbols, the memories present to our present level of understanding gifts which await our discovery; undeveloped talents which invite our cultivation; situations in which we feel awkward and need to improve; aspects of ourselves and others that had been beneficial in relating to others but that we have forgotten and can use to help us now; activities we used to enjoy that would make our lives more enjoyable if we would but make room for them.

It is important for those of us who have difficulty understanding our own dreams to keep in mind that when therapy began, neither Davina, who was in a state of bewilderment, nor her therapist, with years of therapeutic experience, had any idea what the tormenting dreams and fantasies symbolized. Only through courage and persistence on Davina’s part, guiding encouragement and uncanny insight on the part of the therapist ( Dr. Rossi), and many months of interaction with each other is Davina able to gain an understanding and eventual appreciation of all that she is.

Davina’s series of dreams during psychotherapy illustrates a pattern of growth in personality development propelling her towards "expansion of awareness." The new that emerges from her internal psychological processes is termed "original psychological experience," meaning that the new (to her) originates from within her own psyche (not original in the sense of its being necessarily exclusive of others’ growth experiences).

The following will highlight some of the most important concepts exemplified in her dreams. They are presented in order to illustrate the growth process so that similar processes may be identified in your own dreams.

For Davina the key to understanding this dream was identifying the unique quality in the dream: having a printing press on board, which had to be fed in order to operate the entire ship. Here we have a hypothesis about the growth process that may be verified by further observation: Davina in waking life is a student in literature and quite interested in creative writing. The dream indicated to her that the creative process of writing was a possible key to taking control of her life (steering her own ship) and leaving her old world view behind. The idiosyncratic, unusual, strange, etc., contents in dreams may indicate original psychological experiences which can lead to expanded awareness.

The unusual element of a dream also implies that the dreamer is experiencing multiple states of awareness. What we consider odd in the dream is only that which we have not yet integrated into our usual way of looking at things. Two frames of reference are in juxtaposition. The old frame of reference encounters the new and perceives it as odd or foreign. For example, it will take time for us to become familiar with the metric system. It will seem odd (coming from our habitual standpoint) and unfamiliar until we have incorporated it into our habitual mode of measurement.

It is easy to identify the two aspects of Davina in this dream: (1) the child part of herself (the Davina who looks for baby clothes) and (2) the adult part of herself who considers such behavior childish (the Davina who knows the clothes don’t fit her). The negative reaction to the salespeople is probably an indication of a developmental block (which is usually the case when there is a negative reaction to the words and behavior of others in a dream) to growing up. Here we have two more hypotheses that may be further tested. The first is that when two or more states of being are experienced in a dream, the dreamer is undergoing a psychological change. The second is that it is self-reflection in a dream that moves the dreamer from a taken-for-granted "fact" or "reality" to an expansion of awareness.

In the "Captive Maiden" dream, Davina is both captive and pilot. But the role change seems to occur without her intervention (an autonomous process); she has not active control over the transformation (i.e., it just happens). In the second dream another perspective is added by Davina’s being able to (1) observe her behavior while she is simultaneously acting it out and to (2) reflect upon the activity in the dream. Generally, self-reflection is followed by an expansion of awareness. It is therefore a vital tool for growth and often the first indication that the dreamer is in touch with a self-concept. We cannot make needed changes in our beings until we are aware of how we see ourselves. It is the process of self-reflection that allows us to facilitate psychological growth in the waking state.

...my parents, who look like their wedding picture, jump inside my lips, dance down my throat and travel merrily into the chambers of my heart. Two birds, one with my face and one with my husband’s, observe all that goes on. The mood changes: My parents begin to bicker. A fight ensues. My heart is punched over and over again and begins to ache. A four-year old child appears who looks exactly like me at that age. The Davina-child tugs at her mother’s dress and begs her parents to quit fighting, but they shove her to the floor instead. Now, as one of the birds, I and my bird-husband fly down and pull off the heads of the parents. We turn their bodies upside down to drain their blood. Where the bodies are discarded weeping willow trees and flowers spring forth. Returning to the heart chambers, the birds find the child drowning in her parents’ blood and rescue her. They sweep the blood into the chambers of the heart to absorb all of the blood and leave everything clean.

Again, we see a division in Davina’s state of being (four-year-old child, bird, observer and dreamer), indicating multiple levels of awareness within the dream. The chronological dimension, however, helps us to center more quickly upon the source of the present conflict. For example, Davina’s four-year-old self at the mercy of her parents probably reminds Davina that her childish nature is still quite active in the way she relates to her parents. No wonder she has difficulty manifesting control over her life-she is still motivated by their truths. Those who are familiar to us, such as family and friends, are sometimes representations in the dream world of our habitual points of view and patterns of behavior in the waking world. Our hypothesis is that the old self and the emerging new self must interact if growth is to continue.

A new element of progress is evident in this dream concerning psychological transformation. Whereas Davina had assumed a passive role in previous dreams, she is now an active participant (bird-self) in resolving a traumatized aspect of herself and in initiating a new identity. Resolving a psychological problem within the dream changed her feelings: she awakened from her dream with renewed energy and a sense of well-being. It may be substantiated by future biochemical research that permanent change results from transformations that occur in the dream state.

Davina’s existence on many levels within the dream indicated multiple levels of awareness. Other indications that a dreamer is being blessed with more than one point of view about himself or his perceptual world are: (1) illogical and incomprehensible aspects of the dream; (2) analyzing a dream within a dream; (3) realization that one is dreaming; and (4) efforts to control the dream drama or change what’s happening. The more ways we have of seeing ourselves and our experiences, the more potential we have for expanded awareness. Though at times it may be confusing, the very perplexity of the dream situation may stimulate self-reflection and lead to broader levels of awareness. If our dreams never puzzled us, perhaps we would not give them the attention they well deserve.

A certain degree of growth will inevitably result from the autonomous processes in the dream state (e.g., Davina’s heart was "straightened out"). But, to integrate the synthesis of different aspects of the self into a new waking identity requires conscious effort as well as a certain amount of awareness within the dream. As Davina becomes more adept at interacting with the autonomous forces within the dream and gaining control over her own fate, the changes in identity and heightened awareness on a subconscious level are naturally integrated into her conscious behavior.

Psychological growth can be greatly facilitated by our willingness to engage ourselves constructively with the autonomous processes within the dream. For example, consider this dream of Davina’s, in which there are three characters: Davina’s husband, his legal wife (what Davina terms the "domestic-me") and his true-love wife (the passionate-me"). It is the event of the husband’s annual visit to his legal wife, who is the picture of perfect homemaker and mother of his children.

Davina-passionate me, with whom my husband lives-and together we share our deepest emotions, creativity and philosophies of life-decide to follow my husband to his destination. Surprised to see that the domestic wife looks and talks somewhat like myself, I come out of hiding and confront my rival. We engage in a verbal battle of challenges to each other’s capabilities to please our husband, individually insisting that each is more valuable than the other. Our impulsive natures (old habit patterns; old reality) yearn to destroy the other, but visualizing a greater solution (self-reflection leading to an expanded state of awareness) the domestic-me and passionate-me admit their need for the other’s talents, hug each other, and the two me’s melt into one (a new identity is synthesized.)

The growth process observed in this dream is that self-reflection upon the two contrasting self-images resulted in a new awareness of their mutual interdependence and led to their psychosynthesis into a new identity. Davina’s inner experiences clearly stimulated her conscious desire to manifest in daily life inherent qualities of each aspect of herself depicted in the dream. She felt new appreciation for her artistic nature, which more definitively portrayed her inner self, while she acknowledged the need to cultivate her less developed domestic side and value its potential in making herself more complete as a companion to her husband. Self-awareness, coupled with conscious commitment to facilitate her own psychological growth (learn some domestic skills) brought about some concrete changes in her marriage. Once she began to take responsibility for the change in her own life, spontaneous improvements blossomed in many other areas and her own growth acted as a catalyst for her husband’s growth, making each of them happier.

After eleven weeks of psychotherapy, Davina’s dreams and fantasies became obsessed with frightening images. In dream after dream the skeletons and monsters emerged, often presenting the same thematic conflict, but with new dimensions of character reflecting the internal changes Davina was undergoing. We witness her petrified emotional state when she first encountered the monsters, followed by a tiring and sometimes amused indulgence of them, and eventually destruction of the monsters’ paralyzing effects on her psyche.

Initially, Davina was confronted by black and white skeletons but, by knocking their heads off in one dream, she discovered her mother’s face under the skull of the white skeleton and her father’s face under the black. These images appeared in the waking state as well, projecting themselves onto street lights, the moon, etc., taunting her and causing her to fear she was having a nervous breakdown. Should we suggest that she try to suppress these images, to do away with them? It is important to respect the messages from the unconscious as representations of a reality within that seeks conscious understanding. Davina was encouraged to observe the images and interact with them. Therapist and client were walking a tightrope. To overindulge the monsters could overwhelm Davina’s personality. Not engaging them could mean losing touch with an essential process in psychological transformation. Finally it was agreed that Davina should ask the monsters why they came to her.

In one or two dreams, just as Davina is about to ask why, the monsters sense her intentions and disappear or run away. But finally she does get her answer.

I ask my parents why I am being terrified by monsters. They put on their skeleton clothes and turn on me, eyes bleeding, mouths foaming. They yell at me to go away and leave them alone. A voice calls out: "The monsters are to frighten you away! They want to scare you out of their world, into one of your own!!" The monsters chase me up the stairs, where I run toward an "opening of light." I’m cut by the razor edges of the stairs, but I reach the light, bleeding profusely, and collapse. Now I’m a skeleton myself; one side of my skull is black, the other white. In a blaze of fire my skeleton rolls down the stairway to the monsters and burns everything in its path. From behind a tree emerges the new-me, fine and pretty.

The way we react to new images, whether positive or negative, is a prognosis for further development. Ignored or rejected, they may take on malevolent forms. But, if accepted and expanded, they may lead us to new creative vistas within our beings. A hypothesis to be tested is that the negative and frightening forms of the imaginative forces reflect blocks in development. New growth in the personality is begun when these negative forms in the dream are constructively confronted.

On a conscious level, Davina was unable to resolve a conflict so long engrained in her psyche. Her emotions were thus represented in the form of frightening dream images (i.e., her imaging subconscious converted into monsters the emotions which blocked her) so that they could undergo transformation (i.e., be conquered in battle) and help to create a new identity: the "new-me, pretty and fine."

One of the most obvious messages within the "Monster’s Answer" is, of course, the dialogue. In general, dialogue generates the process of self-reflection. The inner process (monster drama) interacts with the conscious attitudes ("Why do the monsters haunt me?") and both processes are altered. Words often clarify for consciousness the "emerging new personality for, where awareness is expanding and new identity is being formed, it is sometimes helpful to give it words." The dialogue in Davina’s dreams appeared to increase with the process of psychotherapy, indicating again that a great deal of growth and psychological change was occurring.

In many of Davina’s dreams, whenever she destroys a frightening image, a part of herself generally dies also. Apparently, the destruction of the enemy is only half of the battle. To sacrifice the conquering nature as well is the true measure of victory. Only then is the conquering nature relieved of its purpose for existence and freed to pass away, allowing a newer, wiser consciousness to emerge. Here is Davina’s last dream while in psychotherapy.

"A Total Rebirth"

...sinking through the colorful dimensions of the ocean into darker depths, I am a child. I see a fire-breathing, multi-eyed dragon-monster. Silently it eyes me and inhales me into its innards. Swimming around in what seems to be a grey room, I discover a large black object in the center. It’s the monster’s beating heart. I appeal to the heart about my terrible predicament. The heart glows, illuminating faint pictures of my parents and relatives. The heart has its own mouth. It begins sucking at my fingertips. It latches onto my childhood ring but, unable to free it from my finger, the monster-mouth pulls my skin off with the ring. The monster-mouth continues to pull and pull until my body, in utter agony, is completely skinned. Incredibly, my body is still in one piece. I’m delighted and amazed that I’m even alive!

Having undergone this magnificent metamorphosis, she experienced her whole body resonating with appreciation for life and growth. Her painful struggles were reaping new insights and bursts of creative energy. She wanted to live life to its fullest, to paint and to write. Finally, she felt at peace with herself and the knowledge that growth is a life-long process.

Davina’s initiation into her own creative realm characterizes the very essence of original psychological experience so valued by the poet, composer, and the creative person. Perhaps it is in the expanded "creative moment," when our habitual patterns are in a state of suspension that we tune into something beyond our five senses. In a religious context, original experience may be internalized as Oneness, or Cosmic Consciousness, with characteristic feelings of awe and ecstasy.

Creative moments-Abraham Maslow termed them "peak experiences"-are potentialities in each of us. They are not so much induced as they are revealed when our inner sensitivity perceives that which already exists. Yet is remains our choice to see and to accept that expanded reality.

Our dreams challenge us to recognize and integrate the new awareness developing within ourselves. They beckon us to leave behind our "limitations" in order to move on to a non-ego life experience of higher potential. Working with our dreams is a life-giving process but requires a commitment. First we must acknowledge that inner reality we term "dreaming." Then, we must learn to identify the new dimensions of ourselves which emerge in the dream. Then we can seek to integrate into our daily lives those dimensions we find constructive. Whether our consciousness continues to develop, to grow or not to grow, to experience or not to experience joy, seems largely to be an act of our own free will and a product of our personal choice.

One of the joys of long experience in psychotherapeutic work is the occasional opportunity to view again after many years the fate of someone with whom we have worked in the past. There can be no more valid or satisfying way of understanding human destiny than this simple one of carefully observing how it actually takes place. An opportunity of this sort was recently provided when "Davina" sent me one of her recent dreams. When I read the dream, I felt a sense of recognition and quickly looked up the first dream that she had ever told me-a dream that she had experienced about twelve years ago, eighteen months before she met me as her therapist-the dream of "The Captive Maiden" (see page 102). Her recent dream is remarkable in that it has the same motif as her earlier dream while it also shows many examples of the growth processes in dreams that I outlined in my book. Here is her dream:

Davina comments: "In my conscious life, my mind and perceptions are deepening as I develop my drawing skill and develop my ability to translate what I see onto paper. My life is fuller and richer with loving friends and activities and family life, more than ever before."

There are many interesting points of comparison between these two dreams that came twelve years apart. In both a ship is used as a metaphor of her life but what differences in the details! The details give us insights into the nature of the psychological change that she has undergone. In the first dreams she is initially a captive maiden "in a private vessel sailing out to sea" under the control of an ugly male pirate. In the second she is a free agent with friends, having fun on a nice ocean liner "heading toward port: with a captain at the helm, who is a woman wearing Davina’s own sweater vest. By the end of the first dream the ugly male pirate was dying and he had to relinquish control to Davina, who is uncertain about guiding the ship but feels "strangely reassured and newly strengthened" as her creative processes take over in the form of a printing press geared to steering the ship. In the new dream, it is a woman wearing her sweater vest, obviously an aspect of Davina, that is steering the ship. Twelve years ago she was headed "out to sea"-she was beginning a life journey and was very uncertain of her course. In the present dream she is "heading toward port," perhaps returning from that journey.

What is the meaning of the fundamental transformation from ship to airplane in her dream, in which she "could feel the new vibrations" of a new conception of life? She momentarily looks to me for some help, but I am obviously lost in my reading and don’t want to be bothered any more. Even the woman captain of the ship wearing Davina’s sweater vest does not believe the transformation is taking place. She "seemed to be dumb, totally silent." Is the woman captain a personification of that aspect of her feminine side that was trained to follow a traditional life style and not really understand that there can be creative alternatives?

Davina finds once again, as in the dream of twelve years ago, that she must herself take over control of the steering wheel-she must guide the ascent of the ship now being transformed into a plane. She alerts the passengers (other aspects of herself) to what is happening and now sees the huge fishes flying through the air attached to fishermen’s lines. This was proof "we had ascended." The psychologist C.G. Jung collected scholarly evidence that fishes in dreams often represent contents of the unconscious-ideas, personality developments or nuclei of new awareness in the process of development. Ascending upward has always been a metaphor for reaching for God, or as we say today, higher levels of consciousness. The ship transforming into an airplane in this context appears to be a clear metaphor for her ascending to a new level of being that will be more satisfactory.

Tending to confirm this is the "great joy and excitement as well as fear" that all aboard the transforming vessel feel. It is entirely characteristic that we experience just this complex of feelings during critical stages of the growth process. Davina then experiences another characteristic aspect of new consciousness when she ends her account of her dream by noting that "everything is glistening." The presence of light, brightness and glistening has always been a symbol of being enlightened and of experiencing a new consciousness.