1.

To echo within ourselves another’s feelings, and to sense another’s suffering and want to alleviate it, is the reward in store for us as we develop the art and practice of compassion and empathy. Dr. Margot Lasher takes us on an extraordinary journey into the inner world of feelings. It is here that we are able to sense our connection with all that exists in our world. And as we connect in a real way, we begin to feel a deep sense of freedom and inner peace.

Our sense of isolation so readily available to us in our everyday lives begins to dissipate as we discover that empathy is an inseparable part of our existence, waiting only for us to become aware of it. Empathy is a perceptual ability, much like vision and touch. The practice of empathy changes the way we experience our feelings and the feelings of others. Feelings become tangible and we are able to create a vision of those feelings. Thus, our sense of isolation becomes extinct, while our empathy and compassion become our nature.

In order to use this book wisely, we are asked to live in our hearts and be aware of our feelings. The author tells us that the text, quotations, and the practices contained in the book will help us tune into our feelings, and are all part of the practice of awareness. The techniques used for developing compassion and empathy come from ancient Buddhist and Taoist traditions. However, the practice of these qualities/skills are universal and belong to all beings who feel. Also included in this book, are imagery techniques which serve to open use to all possible perceptions. Unlike visualization which emphasizes our sense of sight, imagery opens us to all of our senses. When we allow for this, our practice of imagery may bring us back to a childhood memory through the use of smell and taste, or a familiar vibration within our being may arise from the remembrance of a person’s voice, or a touch remembered may generate a certain emotion. These perceptions and possibilities merge with our imagination to create a rich inner world in which we may connect with our feelings and those feelings of others.

Another key requirement of making full use of this book is to journal. We are asked first to immerse ourselves in the practice of imagery, then to write about our experiences with the individual practices. This allows us to describe our initial experiences and responses and to be able to return to our words time and again in an effort to gain further insight into ourselves.

The practices, which I will soon describe, are not meant to achieve a specific end result, but rather to guide us toward a fuller awareness of what already exists within each of us

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This is an imagery practice which helps us connect with the natural world. We are instructed to close our eyes and imagine ourselves in a natural setting. After achieving a state of relaxation, we are then transported to our personal world of memory and imagination. For example, if my natural setting is by a stream of clear water in my favorite spot in a meadow, I can imagine myself sitting by it, listening to the water flow, smelling the surrounding wildflowers, and perhaps even feeling the water run over my hand as I am listening to birds singing in the background. This allows me to truly experience the rhythm of this place. Once I have discovered this rhythm, I have made a connection between myself and the natural world. I feel calm and I feel safe. I am truly existing within my imagined setting.

Now that I have experienced this relationship/connection, the author instructs me to write about my sensations of touch, warmth, a sense of moving within my setting, or any other sensations I experienced in my ideal vision. Next, I write down the feelings I experienced in that place and become aware that all of these feelings are part of my connection with this place. I am able to come to a better understanding of my feelings and can delve deeper into them by posing questions which will elicit more specific information about my empathetic nature.

2.

What a person would term "unusual experiences of empathy" occur when we are children because we are very open to the feelings around us. These feelings are strong and, when they occur, we are able to sense a change in another. These are experiences of our empathic awareness and we keep these experiences in our memory.

In using imagery in this practice, we are asked to recall an experience of empathic awareness that readily comes to mind. We feel those emotions again as we attempt to relive this experience. This practice then requires us to write in our journal. We are asked to describe our feelings, and any details which come to our mind about ourselves and the other person. This journal entry can help us develop an awareness of empathy in our lives.

3.

As with the preceding imagery practice, this one allows us to recognize and clearly identify how compassion has developed in our lives. Remembering that compassion is a special case of empathy, our experiences with this feeling may overlap with our experiences of empathic awareness. But, whereas we sense and may enjoy our feelings of empathy, compassion alerts us to the suffering of another, and our desire to help the person alleviate suffering. We feel as though this suffering is inside ourselves.

Again, we are asked to relive an event in our life where we felt a strong sense of compassion. This feeling could be for a person or an animal. We are then instructed to write in our journal the details about our recalled experience. We can ask ourselves various questions which help us describe, to our fullest ability, our experience with compassion in our lives. This practice can help us stay open to another’s pain.

4.

We are told that we can experience compassion and empathy in our everyday lives. Building on the prior exercises of our unusual experiences, we become more able to identify and strengthen our awareness of more subtle moments when we make connections with others. This recognition of our daily connections helps us gain a sense of clarity and peace which serves to empower us, and we can then choose to make wider connections.

In this practice, we are asked to think of someone who knows us well and with whom we feel comfortable. We close our eyes, relax, and pretend we are with this person. We try to sense our connection to them. We are to ask ourselves what is it about this person that makes us feel so at ease. Again, we journal, writing down our feelings as best as we can translate them. This exercise allows us to identify someone with whom we have an empathic connection.

5.

This is a Buddhist practice which allows us to open to the world around us. When we succeed in accomplishing this opening, our way of experiencing self is forever altered. In practicing empathy, we are moving ourselves out of the way and we are letting the world seep into us. A way which is highly recommended to help us "empty ourselves" is through meditation. In performing this next practice, we are led into a meditative state in which we begin by relaxing and focusing on our breath. We then listen for the sounds around us, and after picking one, allow it to settle in our minds. Next, we imagine this sound as a stream flowing from outside, into our minds, and back out of us. We notice the difference between allowing a sound to settle in and allowing it to move through us. Lastly, we are instructed to try the same image with our thoughts. We imagine ourselves as a quiet, empty space, letting sounds and thoughts flow through us. This practice helps us truly open ourselves to the world.

6.

Attention is defined as a process of selection. We need this ability to be able to focus on what we consider important. We develop selective attention and because this type of attention is a natural part of perception, we begin to define our individual worlds. Our difficulty with this process is that a lot of the choices we made about what is worth our attention, occurred when we were very young. And now, out of habit, we close ourselves off from all that is not a part of our ordinary world. In order to expand our personal realities, we must be willing to listen openly, to suspend our judgment, and become receptive to all possibilities. The author tells us that this is the psychological equivalent of emptying the self. This is described as a quality of attention known as "wholeheartedness of attention."

This practice is designed to help us experience wholeheartedness of attention in a familiar way. We are asked to think of something that absorbs us completely; something that we love to do that makes time seem irrelevant. The next time we are involved in this type of activity, we will journal. We will describe our sense of being totally absorbed. Feeling at one with any activity gives us the experience of unity. And this unity is consistent with wholeheartedness of attention. This is the quality of attention that we want to practice in empathy.

7.

This practice is a culminating exercise. We are asked to read all the entries we’ve made in our journal, and identify any links between two or more entries. These links could be of an emotional nature — a recurring feeling, sensation, physical presence, or anything at all. Using our intuition, we may discover enlightening insights. We are asked not to analyze. We are trying to identify a unifying structure in our experiences.

As a last activity in this practice, we will write down any connection we recognized in our journal entries. If we choose, we can write about what this unifying structure means to us now.

In summary, this chapter, along with these 7 practices, help us begin to recognize, identify, and develop our individual art and practice of compassion and empathy. As we end this first chapter, we have a stronger sense of ourselves and our connection with the world around us. We have begun on a special journey into our inner worlds, with the end result being a deeper sense of freedom, inner peace, and connection with all that exists in our world. This inner journey is a part of nonordinary reality, in which our sense of self, perception of our world and others, our place in it, and our service to it, can be greatly expanded and the quality of our lives tremendously enhanced. Empathy and compassion take on significant meaning and value to ourselves and others. Our lives become works of art in progress.